Tired enough

When will I be tired enough?
Tired of fighting
Tired of trying to “see the bright side”?
Tired of wearing this Joker’s smile
When I just want to scream

When will I be tired enough?
Will it be when I take out my frustrations
On some random stranger, family or a friend
When I hear them whisper “bitch”
And feel the guilt of knowing that they are right

When will I be tired enough?
And realize that I just need to
Relax and Breathe
And know that the world will keep spinning
Even if I get off for a while

Everyone will go about their day
Not that they don’t care
They just understand, because sometimes
They get tired enough too

Text © DarkPoetryGeek/Tina McFarlane (2019) All rights reserved
Pictures © DarkPoetryGeek/Tina McFarlane, used with subject’s permission or under public domain (2019). Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay/

Advertisements

Forgiveness

And with a bruised tenderness
I feel my heart give way
A release
It makes me weep
course tears
too long contained

I never thought
that a moment like this
could tear open
wounds that had closed
but never healed

To quell that anger
of “what are you doing?”
that will find their way
into my thoughts

To know that
this will bring back the pain
that I had ignored

It will lead me to that place
that always held me back
Tethered to ill will
and dark memories

To give myself permission

To forgive

is the hardest part of all

To say that it’s okay
to let go

and move on 

Text © DarkPoetryGeek/Tina McFarlane (2019) All rights reserved
Pictures © DarkPoetryGeek/Tina McFarlane, used with subject’s permission or under public domain (2019).- Image by PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay

Broken

Grasping hands
Out into the dark
Away from screams
of buried dreams
I crawl
I bite my lip
against the pain
of unkept promises
As they cut deep
and let my soul bleed out
I don’t mourn the loss
A blessed release
of a weight that choked me
I am blind
My tears are worn
Too tired they cling
and in my blindness
I am spared
from the regrets that hang
on lifeless threads before me
I am deaf
to the whispers
of those who abandoned me
and those who I abandoned
I cannot stand
For that is strength
of which I have none
I don’t know what awaits me
at the end
And so I will crawl, and bleed, and maybe…

hope.

Text © DarkPoetryGeek/Tina McFarlane (2019) All rights reserved
Pictures © DarkPoetryGeek/Tina McFarlane, used with subject’s permission or under public domain (2019). – Image by Helmut_Strasil on Pixabay